Okay, I am saying it, I am finally admitting that I am a big time hermit.Is it bad that I'm a hermit?
There is a reason that I do not have a cell phone. Basically, I hate the idea that anyone can get a hold of me at any time. I sometimes go weeks without talking to friends and even family or hanging out with anyone that I love, that is outside of my own little family of course. I get so busy with projects and things that I find myself at the end of a month or months and I'm realizing that I have not made any phone calls or returned them for that matter and that I haven't talked to my own mom or sent birthday wishes. I took pictures of the boys over two months ago and never sent them out to my grandparents. I haven't called them or my uncle Jack in months and sometimes I feel like he loves it so much when I call because he has nobody else. I don't do it on purpose. In fact sometimes I make my own self so lonely. I have Ryan, and I have the boys but I feel that I want to be with them so much that I shut everyone else out, and have done just that.
Don't get me wrong. I don't have any time to myself as it is. If I do get a minute it is reserved. There isn't a lot that I have time for and its the truth. I don't remember the last time I watched TV just to watch it by myself (or even with the boys) or went for a drive to get my thoughts together, or even shopping. If I do get out, its an errand.
Don't get me wrong. I don't have any time to myself as it is. If I do get a minute it is reserved. There isn't a lot that I have time for and its the truth. I don't remember the last time I watched TV just to watch it by myself (or even with the boys) or went for a drive to get my thoughts together, or even shopping. If I do get out, its an errand.
I love my projects and I love getting things done but I am realizing that I am kind of lonely. While I am here at work we have had a few minutes of quiet. I am looking at people's blogs and seeing a trend. All of the women have their girlfriends. They do play-dates with them and they go to concerts with them. They call each other on the phone and talk for hours and their families go on trips together. I have never had that. I have very close friends, but we don't do that. I have taken that away from myself and I look at these blogs and feel lonely.
Not in a bad way. I am very happy. But I do wonder if I have somehow punished myself because of my selfishness. If I have offended anyone of you, which I am sure that I have, I am very sorry. Sorry if I have pushed you away or made you feel that I don't care. We love our friends and family so much! We have never meant to be closed off, we're just gettin' her done ya know?! I want you all to know that we love you and we are here if you need us, we promise you that. Please know that it is not personal, but that if we could change things, if we could find a way to be better at being friends we would.
I guess that's what I wanted to say. I want you all to know how much we appreciate you and even though I am selfish and doing my own thing 24 hours a day seven days a week, I do care and I want to talk if you need it. We would do anything for any of you! So now, time to call my mom, to wish my brother Chris a happy birthday (I love you Chris) call my uncle Jack to let him tell me some things, and make sure that I get my pictures out to my grandma and grandpa (or as Paxton would say grama and papa) and tomorrow, just enjoy my Sunday with no projects to be crossed off. Its just plain hanging out, and maybe even some TV!
5 comments:
Sweet Whitney - you are too hard on yourself! You are so busy and you and Ryan have so much going on. Never once have I thought, "Man, Whit is totally avoiding me - how rude". I fall into the same pattern and I really want to be calling people back or getting in touch with family...but then 4 weeks have gone by and I get overwhelmed by how MUCH I need to do so that people know I still love them (lots of phone calls, emails, etc.). I don't know if you checked my blog, but I have been feeling super lonely the past few days and I don't know what to do about it. Just know that it will pass! You have lots of people who love you and the most important relationship you need to worry about is the one with Ryan and your boys. And hey - maybe we can plan a trip somewhere together next Summer with our kids. Lets chat about it!
Hey Whit...John always gives me a hard time because I think everyone else around me is having so much more fun than me. It's hard when you stop and look around and feel like your all by yourself. I think it happens to everyone. Making and keeping friendships requires time and effort, and sometimes it's hard to keep up with it because we have so many other responsibilities. It's worth it though. I'm glad you're my sister and my friend. Even living so far away from eachother, I know you're there for me, and you should know the same. I love you.
Whitney, you are a girl after my own heart. I feel the same way so often too. Why is life so crazy!? I am horrible at keeping in touch with people, not that I want to be though. So I totally know what you are saying. I have had many lonely times too. You and your boys can come over here at any time! As long as you don't mind if I'm still in my pj's.
Okay, so I KNOW that Doug and I posted on this one and it is not showing up...weird. What we said is we knew that you were a hermit and we fix that just by barging into your home until we find you. Don't worry. Continue to be a hermit as long as you don't mind us tracking you down when we need you!
Hi Whitney!! There is a time and a season for everything. Your time right now is your immediate family. You have a lot on your plate right now with the boys, work outside the home,all the endless work that has to be done at home plus being a wife. I think you do an amazing job. You can tell what kind of person you are by your family. I see you guys and see happiness. You are so sweet and kind, and I loved you from the first time we met. I know why Ryan fell in love with you. I know we only get to talk maybe a few times throughout the year but that is not just you it's me too. Life is busy and time flies by too fast. Always know that we love you and even if we don't say it enough you are such a wonderful addition to the Bastian clan. I couldn't be more blessed to have such a great sister as you. There is a quote that I have that says, "Do your best to make certain you are the sort of person you want your children to become." How great your children will be if they become like YOU!! They will become hard working, kind, loving, giving, talented, patient, friendly, faithful (the list goes on) individuals like yourself. You're amazing!! Always remember that. Love you tons!!
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