It's a wonderful life!

Ladies and Gentleman...I am back!

I have officially finished training and can blog again, almost at my leisure!

I say almost because I am afraid that I must pick up the phone if it rings, but such is work.
I feel like I have not had a real chance to blog since I moved to this wonderful place called Idaho.
Since we have been here life has been quite hectic.
I imagined things a little differently!
I imagined that we would get here, Ryan and I would find jobs...or just Ryan would find a job :) and I would be home with the chitlins. We would find our dream house and buy it, all the while spending every extra minute, together.
What I have come to find out is that life is a little harder.
Ryan and I raced for jobs. Turns out, the economy up here in Idaho is much worse than it was in Utah County. I started to worry about the fact that we weren't getting any jobs and that places that I was qualified to work were on freezes. I took a temp job at a company called Norco and thankfully was able to apply to Canyon County dispatch who didn't have dispatcher jobs available but did have call taker jobs. My job has been cut in half... I just answer 911 calls, I don't dispatch. Its actually been pretty nice.
Between the two jobs I have been training for about 6 and a half months straight. It feels good to finally be done!
Ryan has not yet found a job. Much to MY Surprise! we have found that even those places that are hiring, have hundreds apply. Every time he has gone to apply in person there are literally hundreds there to apply for the same jobs. In my report for my hiring at Canyon County I researched a fact that the unemployment rate here in this valley is at 12%. The upside is that supposedly Idaho will recover first, the downside is that EVERYONE is applying for every job.
Luckily Ryan is a good father. We have been blessed to have him home with the children and to have my job.
Our first week here in our ward a family was moving out. After their talks I spoke to the mother of the family and told her I appreciated what she had to say. She started to cry as I told her we moved here on a whim and hoped to be here forever. She told me that they were in love with this place but after four years of struggling, had to leave and go back to Mesa, AZ where her husband was finally able to get a job. She also wanted to live here forever and had to lose her dream because of this economy.
I feel blessed that we are lucky enough to have me working and my children are home with their father...who by the way -might be the best father out there. I think so anyway.
This man loves these kids. Its hard being a stay at home Mom but I think that its even harder to be a stay at home Dad. I get home to a clean house...dinner and most importantly the kids are usually played out. He plays with them all day.
When I woke up this morning I went into the bathroom to start getting ready for work. When I came out Ryan had breakfast ready for me, Shelby fed and he was putting on shoes to go and warm up my car.
How lucky am I?! And don't you think I didn't get smooches on the way out either. In fact I got them from the boys too -they try to beat the clock and wake up so that they can say goodbye.
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I know times are tough and to be honest, lately I have been down about it. Ryan and I have traveled across this treasure valley about a million times now trying to figure out where the best schools are, whether we should rent or buy and trying to find a good job for Ryan (Hopefully here). Every time we drive by some big huge house in Eagle or some big Ranch I get that little tight feeling in my gut that begs the answer...how do people live like that? How are people rich? How do they make their life here? I work hard! Don't I deserve that?!
Today I could not help but feel a little selfish for thinking those things. I also can't help but think that I need to apologize to my husband for it too.
Ryan, I am sorry. We have had such a wonderful life together! We have had struggles almost since we met. In fact I remember when we VERY FIRST met and we decided that a guy like you and a girl like me didn't work. You weren't active in the church and I was a Molly Mormon, and proud of it. We tried to break it off several times but really, who can fight "the plan" We were meant for each other!
We have been partners from the start. Best friends working side by side for a common goal...our little family. Most of us are here, we can't wait until we are all here of course but it has been our main focus from the beginning. To be a family, to be close, to be happy and to take care of each other.
Today it hit me, not like I didn't already know but guess what?! We have been through tougher times than this...and we already have the reward! We have such a beautiful little family. Everyone is healthy and happy and we are a team. The other thing is that we are HERE! We are in Idaho and we absolutely love it!
I feel like I have not been the strong team mate that I promised I would be for you. I have had doubts and complaints. Murmurings in the wilderness as we try to figure out our plan here.
I want you to know that I know that if we put our faith in the Lord, it will be alright. Even if that means we don't get our little plot of land (our little Heaven) for a long time. Its okay because we have each other and most importantly, for some reason, I was blessed with you.
I am sorry I have been difficult, I know that I have been. But I promise you I am back on track, ready to work side by side with a smile!
Thank you for being strong and keeping us all happy. You really are one in a million!I love you baby!