Sunday, April 15, 2007

mind wanderings

I had a conversation with some of my friends the other day about seasons and how they affect your mood. I have decided that I definitely have what they called Seasonal Defective Disorder...aka SAD. This is really a disorder for those that are laughing out there! It basically means that you get really tired and you discover a loss of interest in things when the weather is bad, basically like winter in Utah when the sun doesn't shine. Also part of the Seasonal Disorder, the depression gets better as the weather gets better. Now thinking about it I realize, hey my mood is getting better too! The flowers are out, the sun is out, the weather is beautiful and I feel like I can do anything again. I am finding projects, going for walks, I love every second that I am living and I can't get enough.
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All of this has made me start thinking about where my inspiration comes from. When I was little I remember a teacher telling me that if she were to describe me in one word it would be determined. I wonder sometimes. Have I lost that? Has the world already gotten me down to the point that I don't have the determination and the drive to be the best that I can be? Coming off of winter I feel like that is exactly how I have been feeling. I do know that I don't ever want to be mediocre though, so what is going to help me to always be happy and not just during the Spring and Summer?!
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I know that the first thing that comes to mind is our Savior. This is number one. But, I also thought of my husband. I realized that I don't just have SAD, but that I have a Ryan disorder where basically I am unhappy without Ryan, Ryan affective disorder...RAD?! LOL, I didn't even plan that one, but that is funny!
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It makes me happy to realize how much my husband inspires me. I feel like I can be happy when I am with him, like nothing else matters. I know that with school and work and being a full time Daddy and husband that you feel beat down and so tired Ryan. But you do inspire me and I feel so lucky to have such a strong husband who tries so hard in every aspect of his life. You are an inspiration to me and I feel so blessed that you are my partner through this life. Just knowing that if I stay determined and work my heart out that you are my reward for Eternity, makes everything easier, or worth doing. I love you so much baby!
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For everyone else, this is CHEESY I know! BUT when it comes to my family I can't help it!! I really do try to focus on not being so cheesy on every blog so everyone please realize, it could be a lot worse!

1 comment:

Jewels said...

You have got to be the sweetest person I know! I know what you mean, this time of year is hard. It's not really warm yet, it's like Winter is still hanging on by a thread. It's like I want it to be SPRING already!! Lots of sunshine and long days! Yesterday was such a gorgeous day, we spent most of it outside! Here's to more warm, sunny days! And what you said about Ryan? You are such a tender.